Back when I first started planning my Calvin and Hobbes menu, the idea of a snow goon themed recipe easily made the short list. I wasn’t sure exactly what form it would take, but I knew the adorably horrific snowmen from Attack of the Deranged Mutant Killer Monster Snow Goons simply HAD to be in my menu. They’re too iconic to ignore!

I played around with a few ideas before settling on Golden Oreo snowman truffles, and although I loved the final product, the fact that this post exists is proof of my devotion to the snow goons. I ran into SO. MANY. ROADBLOCKS.

On my first try, the candy melts I’d chosen wound up being WAY too clumpy for dipping truffles. I tried again with some off-brand white chocolate chips I had on hand, and the results were even worse. On my third try, I rolled the truffles in powdered sugar, but it soaked right in, leaving them sandy-colored. I considered dipping them in almond bark, but the brand my store carried was very yellow (not snowy enough for these truffles).

Not gonna lie, I was tempted to play my “I’m Moving this Month” card and just skip the goons, since they were a bonus recipe. But the idea of finishing this menu without snow goons made me too sad. Luckily, my mom came to visit for a few days to watch the toddler while I packed for the move. She suggested going with Tollhouse white chocolate chips, since that’s what she normally uses for truffles and never has issues with clumping. I gave it a try, and they were PERFECT. Just what I’d hoped for from the beginning. Thanks, Mom! 🙂

A

Calvin’s Snow Goon Truffles: An Alison’s Wonderland Original Recipe

Calvin: The snow goons aren’t moving. They’re asleep! Now’s our chance to go bump ’em off!
Hobbes: We can’t go outside now. It’s 10 o’clock at night!
Calvin: Oh yeah. Mom and Dad are still up.
Hobbes: We’ll have to wait at least an hour.

— Calvin and Hobbes

INGREDIENTS:

• For the Truffles
  • 15 Golden Oreos
  • 2 oz cream cheese, cut into cubes
  • 1 bag Toll House white chocolate morsels (I tried Wilton candy melts and off-brand white chocolate chips, and they were WAY too clumpy for this. If you can’t get this brand, be sure to use one that provides melting instructions on the back. Otherwise, it probably won’t melt smooth enough for coating the truffles.)
• For the Decorations
  • pretzel sticks
  • orange Sour Patch Kids
  • black food marker (You can use black icing instead, but this is easier.)

 

Makes 9 snow goons

 

INSTRUCTIONS:

1. Line a baking sheeting with wax paper and set aside.
2. Untwist your Oreos and pulse them in a food processor until you get fine crumbs. Add the cream cheese and process for 2-3 minutes or until the mix gathers together in a single mass of smoothish dough.
   
3. Shape the dough into 9 1-inch balls and 12 3/4-inch balls. Freeze for 30 minutes.

   

4. Melt the white chocolate according to package instructions. Dip the 3/4-inch balls in the white chocolate, allowing the excess to run off into the bowl for a few seconds (this creates less pooling when they dry). Place the balls on the wax paper. Insert 1 pretzel stick in the top of 3 balls and 2 pretzel sticks in the top of another 3 balls. Leave the rest plain. Set aside and allow to dry.

   

5. Dip the 1-inch balls in the white chocolate, allowing the excess to run off. Place them on the wax paper as well. Insert the pretzel stick “arms,” being careful not to touch the wet chocolate. You want to make 3 balls with 2 arms sticking up, 3 balls with 3 arms sticking out in front, and 3 balls with 2 arms sticking out in front of them with approximately 1/2-inch gap between them (these goons will be holding their heads, so make sure the arms are close enough together that the head can rest on them). You can technically insert the pretzel sticks after the chocolate has dried, but there’s greater risk of cracking the chocolate (especially on the 3-armed goons).
6. When the 3/4-inch balls are dry, use a sharp knife to trim pooled chocolate from the bottom edges. You can leave the pooled chocolate on the larger balls if you want. It adds structural stability and makes it kinda look like the snowmen have melted a bit at the base. I left most of it on the larger balls but trimmed it in messy areas for a cleaner look.
7. Cut your Sour Patch Kids width-wise at alternating angles to create triangles.
8. Here are complete instructions for how to finish constructing each type of goon:
   • The Head-Holder: Apply melted chocolate to the base of a triangle and use a toothpick to secure it to the center of a 3/4-inch ball (you may have to hold it in place for a few seconds, but after that it should hold). Use the black food marker to draw 2 eyes and a gaping mouth. Place the head in the arms of a snow goon that has 2 arms reaching out in front of it (position the head so that it’s facing the body). Repeat for 2 more goons.
     
   • Goon with 3 Eyes, 2 Noses: Apply melted chocolate to the base of 2 triangles and secure them to the center of a 3/4-inch ball. Use the black food marker to draw 3 eyes and a gaping mouth. Apply melted chocolate to the bottom of the head and secure to the top of a body that has its arms sticking up in the air. Repeat for 2 more goons.
     
   • 2-Headed Goon: Apply melted chocolate to the base of 2 triangles. Secure 1 in the center of a 3/4-inch ball that has a pretzel stick coming out the top. Secure the other to a ball that has 2 pretzel sticks coming out the top. On the ball with the single pretzel stick, use the food marker to draw 2 eyes and a gaping mouth. On the ball with double pretzel sticks, draw 3 eyes and a zig-zag mouth. Apply melted chocolate to the bottom of the heads and secure them to the top of a body with 3 arms. Repeat for 2 more goons.
     
9. Serve at the premiere of your snowman house of horror!

   

 

 

Check out some of my other white chocolate recipes!

Monster Mash Moon Pies

Twelve Dancing Princesses Strawberry Ballet Slippers