Holy Hand Grenades: An Alison’s Wonderland Original Recipe ©

Posted September 3, 2015 by Alison's Wonderland Recipes in The Odyssey (Aug 2015) / 5 Comments

Bring forth the Holy Hand Grenade! September is here, and we’re cooking up our 2nd Movie of the Month: Monty Python and the Holy Grail! I’m a HUGE Monty Python junky, so I’m super excited for this menu. What better way to start it off than with holy hand grenades? These little beauties are white cheddar mini cheese wheels studded with peppercorns and chive, topped with a cross to give them that authentic Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch look. You can throw them at your enemies if you like, but we recommend eating them.

P.S. Can’t get enough cheese bite appetizers? Check out our Haycorns for Piglet or Savory Snitches.

 

Holy Hand Grenades

“Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying, ‘Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy.’ … Now did the Lord say, ‘First thou pullest the Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.’
— Monty Python and the Holy Grail


 

INGREDIENTS:

  • 10 white cheddar mini cheese wheels
  • 1 pack fresh whole chives (the thin ones work best for this)
  • 30 whole black peppercorns
  • 1 food marker (I used red, but any color except yellow should show up fine)
  • You’ll also need some of those fancy cocktail toothpick swords (most grocery stores sell them next to the regular toothpicks)


Makes 10 grenades

 

INSTRUCTIONS:

      1. Unwrap your first few cheese wheels and remove the wax seals, so you’re just left with the cheese. We’re only doing a few at a time so the other cheeses don’t dry out before we get to them.

        I can’t be the only person who immediately thinks of Pac-Man when I see one of these with half the wax seal popped up.
      2. Take the end of a chive and place it slightly north of center on one side of your cheese wheel. Holding that end in place, pull the rest of the chive across to the other side. Trim it so that the length of chive is equal on both sides. Use the “hilt” of one of your toothpick swords to poke each end down into the cheese to secure it.

      3. Choose one side to be the front of your grenade. Lay another chive horizontally across the front of your cheese wheel (so it’s just covering the point where the vertical chive is attached). Wrap both ends around to the back, overlap them, and poke them down into the cheese just like you did with the first chive.

      4. Press three peppercorns into the front side of your cheese wheel (one in the center just under the intersection of your chive pieces, the other two on either side of it with big gaps inbetween).

        You’ll want to use a little more force that you might expect when pressing these in. They’ll spring back quite a bit. I pressed mine all the way down so they were flush with the cheese, and when they sprang back they remained about halfway in the cheese.
      5. In the gaps between the peppercorns, use your food marker to draw circles.

        I find a dabbing motion works best when trying to make dots on cheese with these markers. You can get fancy and use pink peppercorns if you want, but you might wind up with too much pepper flavor in the end (and the skin on red peppercorns is so delicate that it falls off if you’re not super careful).
      6. Get out your cocktail swords (I only used red, but you can use any color you want). With a pair of kitchen scissors, cut about 1/2 an inch off the end of each sword.

        If your swords have the crescent shaped knuckle guard on one side, use your scissors to snip off the guard, leaving you with a cruciform hilt, which we need to give us the cross shape. For the cleanest cut, snip the guard as close as you can to its attachment points, usually near the pommel and the base of the hilt….look at me bustin’ out my awesome sword terminology. #LikeAMedievalBoss
      7. Insert one sword into each hand grenade, right next to where the vertical chive goes over the side.

        Be aware that inserting the cross this way means it won’t be perfectly centered. If you want your cross in the exact center, snip the vertical chive where it crosses over the side and insert the sword just over the point where you cut it, to keep it in place. It’s less secure, but more aesthetically pleasing.
      8. Place your finished grenades on a plate, cover them with plastic wrap, and refrigerate them while you work on you next few grenades. Keep making them a few at a time and placing the finished ones on the plate in the fridge until you’ve made them all.

        They can be stored like that in the fridge for up to a day if the plastic is tightly wrapped. After that, the chives start to dry out.
      9. Serve to killer rabbits to keep them from attacking your knights…just be sure to count to three first!

        These were really fun to make, and they only took a couple minutes each! You’d think whole peppercorns would be overpowering, but the ratio of cheese to pepper is such that you just wind up with lightly seasoned cheese. These are making me want to throw a Monty Python party! 🙂
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5 responses to “Holy Hand Grenades: An Alison’s Wonderland Original Recipe ©

  1. ladyelasa

    These look really cute. ^ ^ I seriously need to see Monty Python and the Holy Grail. XD I see references everywhere.

    storitorigrace.blogspot.com

    • Profile photo of Alison's Wonderland Recipes

      You should definitely see it! Personally, I think it’s the best MP movie, but it was the first I ever saw (so I’m a little biased). My deepest sorrow is that I haven’t been able to see Spamalot yet. I ALMOST got to see it, but the Mister and I were out of town the weekend it was showing at our theater and we couldn’t get back in time. 🙁

  2. timcrow62Tim Crow

    I’ve been perusing your site since I found Cottleston Pie in a Google search, and as awesome as all the other recipes are, this one has really won me over!
    Wonderful!
    (Don’t say it;s only a model!)

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